Dr Narendra Rathi
MD, DNB (Pediatrics)
Children Specialist
Smile Children Clinic, Andheri west, Mumbai
When is my child old enough for a smartphone? I answer this question almost daily during
my consultations! We all have realised that smartphones are practically an extension of
ourselves these days. Camera, entertainment, social media, video calls, calculator, notepad,
you name it…& babysitting (let's not get into that right now). As a responsible & thoughtful
parent, your concern about the right time to introduce your child to a mobile phone is so
valid!
Most of the literature would quote 14 years as the right age to give smartphone but to tell
you the truth, there's no single magic answer. We, as child specialist doctors, have often
realised that every child and every family is different. We will discuss here few ways to
figure out what works best for you and your kid.
Consider Maturity level of child…
More important question than “When is child old enough for mobile phone?” is “When is
the child responsible enough to get a phone?”. Think about your child's responsibility level.
Is child able to keep valuable things securely? Does he lose valuable things in bus or friend’s
place? Does he use money responsibly? Is he mature enough to overcome temptation of
YouTube over homework? Is he mature & trustworthy enough to follow rules set by family?
Social interaction is the Key
The social world on a smartphone can be a jungle gym – exciting but also potentially
dangerous. Does your child understand the difference between harmless online behaviours
and cyberbullying? Can they spot a dangerous online character a mile away? And, more
importantly, Have you trained him enough for these matters?
Teach her tech…
The next question is : Is your child technologically mature enough to use the smartphone
properly? Do they know how to download apps responsibly, avoid shady websites, and keep
their personal information personal!
Can They Handle Limits?
Let's be honest, we ourselves know, smartphones can be addictive! Can the child resist the
urge to spend hours glued to the screen, neglecting everything else in their world?
The Big Talk – But Make it Fun!
If you decide to give her a mobile phone, have a conversation about it. Don't make it a
lecture (although, in my own experience, this is the most difficult part for parents!), frame it
as a collaborative effort. Discuss the potential problems of mobile use, but also highlight the
great things they can do with it – learning new things, connecting with friends, and maybe
even becoming a photographer!
Some bonus tips from my side…
Start with simple phone: Consider a basic phone first, may be even for a 8 year old!
They call it non smart phone or Dumb phones or minimalistic phone these days! It
can have camera, calendar, FM radio, and GPS, apart from calling. The child can learn
phone etiquette without getting overwhelmed by the internet and things thereafter
like social media, gaming, surfing, videos & so on. This way child can stay in touch
with you and you both feel safer.
Rules, Glorious Rules! Set clear expectations from the beginning. Rules should be
simple & crisp with clear consequences for not adhering to these. When can they use
their phone? Where? What kind of content is not permissible? Which websites and
apps would be kept blocked? That you will monitor their mobile use, when will you
take it away (and by the way, let them explicitly know that you have the right to do
so!)? Set limit to amount of money you will spend on mobile data and other
expenses related to mobile phone. These boundaries will keep them safe and ensure
they don't neglect other important aspects of child life, and the human interaction.
Don’t feel bad about rules & consequences, know yourself that this a step towards
making your child a responsible adult who will behave responsibly even when you
are not around like in hostel.
Become a monitor: It's important to monitor your child's online activity – but in a
way that builds trust, not resentment. Check their browsing history occasionally,
take a look at their social media (with their permission, of course!), and have open
conversations about who they're interacting with, what type of content are they
posting, and appreciating etc. I have been told by many parents that monitoring
everything their child does on mobile phone is too exhausting, but lets face it.
Discuss all the scary online things: Cyberbullying, online predators, sexting, harmful
content– these are all scary realities of the online world. Talk to your child about
these dangers in an age-appropriate way. Empower them to use their phone safely
and responsibly.
Be Involved, Not Intrusive & be responsible yourself! The best way to safeguard
your child online is to be a part of their digital life. Learn co-viewing yourself. Be
responsible in your own mobile phone usage.
Remember, if you ever need extra support or have questions, we are always here to help!
We the Pediatricians, at Smile Children Clinic, Andheri west, have been guiding parents
through the challenges of raising tech-savvy kids? We will also address posture of child
during screen time, screen time limits, distance of viewing, co-viewing, ways to preserve
their physical & mental health and many more things related to mobile phone usage in
children.